Sex Lies and Smurfs

Been ‘busy!’
Cheggout tweet updates on the right…

Spent the entire afternoon figuring stuff for the new site. I haven left home since Sunday and I’m probably turning into a full fledged geek.

There are so many emotional issues to sort out that I can no longer find a focal point. All I can think about now is that I want to eat a banana.

As some of you may have noticed, moved.in died on me. Special thanks to Jo who hosted me on rumpledoodles and Lennel for hosting me on moi-nonpl.us.

Still hoping for moved.in to come back on. The main domain’s at smurfism.com, where there’ll be links to my portfolio and to here.

Hopefully I’ll be hardworking and try to fix up the site soon. Haha..

To new beginnings!

Mikki… and me…

Look what Wormy got me!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bush Dies Peacefully In His Sleep

JANUARY 20, 2009 | ISSUE 45•04

 

WASHINGTON—George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States of America, passed away painlessly in his sleep Monday night, White House sources confirmed. The 62-year-old Bush was reportedly discovered lying unresponsive in his bed by first lady Laura Bush, a gentle smile still on his lips. “It was as though he knew it was his time to go,” said longtime family physician Dr. Harold Ditmas, who pronounced the president dead of natural causes at 7:24 a.m. Plans for Bush’s funeral have been postponed indefinitely following an unexpected incident in which the president’s corpse was sucked through an Air Force One jet engine.

Gotta love The ONION.

The flu bug makes its first visit to poor ol’ Tiggrr sometime last week, rendering her with a speech deficiency. 

I came down with a terrible sore throat after watching Red Cliff 2 with the ladies. Strangely, my nose wasn’t leaking during the ordeal. It was simply… blocked! There was phlegm stuck between my nose and my throat though, and I didn’t know how to spit it out. It’s terribly uncomfortable when its midway and the only solution is to expel it from my system. I’ve always had a strong detest for spitters and I’ve classified them into 2 groups – lao tee kos, and lao tee kos to bes. But every time the flu bug strikes, I’ll find myself green with envy. How do they inhale till it goes down from the nose but stop before it goes down the throat? Then how do they manage to get it into the mouth? Is it possible to bring those stuck in the throat back up into the nose and then exhale and blow it into a tissue? I’ll prefer that actually.

So I’ve lost my voice and managed to sound like Optimus Prime for a couple of days. “Autobots, transform. Megatron must be destroyed. The Decepticons must not win.” I got my voice box working just in time for yesterday’s art lesson. Since the kids were starting the lessons together with me (unlike the other time when I took them halfway), only two students cried – one because she was separated from her friend, the other because.. I don’t know. But both of them were cool and cute once I let them sit beside me. Class ended before I knew it and my voice was hoarse again. Some kid gave me a sweet and he’s not even in my class.

Teaching always gets me exhausted, and I slept like a baby. Woke up this morning and sounded like a deflated balloon. Sigh.

Me: i have craving for sushi and steak.

Wormy: ermm u want steak or sushi? one is meat one is fish

Me: dunno leh

Wormy: r u a strong or weak tigger

Me: STRONG

Wormy: lol okie!

Me: i shy

Wormy: hahahah shy your head lah

We had steak.

This morning was really special for me.

I don’t think I can tell you how much in numbers. It isn’t measurable / quantifiable / justifiable anymore. 

It’s like the first time I ate salmon? It like my first bubble bath? It’s like amusement parks? It’s like gazing at fireworks in an open field? 

It’s like all of those combined, and so much more?

Taken from – Help.com.

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.

To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Totally awesome. Wishing I’d be able to find my species being like this dude.